Our Girl

Our Baby Kate is home and doing so well! She is really the most content newborn! She is nursing near perfectly, naps long and soundly, and has amazingly long stretches of being wide awake and looking around at all her loving family. 

That doesn't mean we are getting tons of sleep:) But so far I feel rested enough to function well with taking short naps. I didn't expect to feel so weak and tired after delivery (naivete of a first time mom!) I am really looking forward to being able to care for her when I am feeling strong and like myself again. 

Here are some pictures of her!

This one should actually be turned the other way. 

Sleeping in her cradle! She loves sleeping in our arms but does well when we put her in her bed:)

This was after her first bath last night. She stayed this wide awake for 2 1/2 hours after her bath! I couldn't believe it! Then she fell so sound asleep that she didn't eat for 5 hours so that wasn't great, but no harm done:)

Well, that's all for now. I don't know when I will be posting again, but I will try to keep updated. Prayers for healing (did have some nasty stuff happen with the delivery), strength, and continued grace would be much appreciated! Love you all!

Baby Kate Is Here!

Hey peoples, this is David filling in for Anne. Well, Baby Kate has finally arrived! Anne started having contractions late Friday night and her doctor said to go to the hospital at 4:30 AM this morning. When we got there she was already 9.5 cm! Anne was having a really rough time, but then....the epidural came. It went perfectly and in 10 minutes Anne was her normal self, smiling and happy. The baby came quickly after not much pushing and both mom and baby are doing very well. Kate is 8 lbs 4 oz and 20.5 inches long, so she is pretty chunky! So far she has been amazingly peaceful, she has already fed really well and is content to just lay there and look around. She's hardly cried at all. I'm sure Anne will update herself soon, but for now I'll leave you with a couple pictures.

Thanks!

Thank you so much to all of you who have left comments, emailed me, and talked to me in person, and prayed for me regarding my last post about fear! You are all such dear friends and sisters! My heart has been much more at peace in this area. I even let her keep sleeping when I am up in the night and don't feel her move:) I talked to the doctor at my last appointment and he said that the fact she seems to sleep most of the night and be awake during the day is a very good thing as babies very often continue their "in womb" patterns after being born! So I say, way to go Kate! Keep sleeping all night:)

I love  you all and just wanted to let you all know how much you have encouraged me!

Today's Battlefield

The Lord has been so kind to pour out grace upon me to not fear during this pregnancy. Last year I went through a significant season of dealing with some very deep rooted fear. I was suspicious that I would struggle very much with fear during pregnancy. Fear of miscarriage, fear of something being wrong with the baby, fear of something terrible happening to me etc. But none of these things became a source of struggle. 

However, here in the final stretch, fear has raised it's head. Over the last year I have followed a couple of blogs written by women who lost babies just days before their due dates.  I have simply gotten interested in their lives and obviously their experience of loss has been a large factor in their writings this year. (We could argue the wisdom of reading these blogs while pregnant, but I think the Lord has used them to reveal an area that I need to fight for trust in Him.)

As I have neared and am now in the last weeks of pregnancy I have found myself really struggling with fear that Kate will die. Typically, this is the waiting and excited anticipation time. There is no thought of losing the baby now. But I have found myself preoccupied with this fear. She has taken to sleeping pretty deeply at night and so often I won't feel her move when I get up (multiple times!) to go the the bathroom at night. I have been filled with fear in those moments and have poked and prodded her awake until I felt her move, just to reassure myself. I have feared going to bed because I am scared I will wake up the next day and she'll be gone. I have even gone so far as to not want to look forward to her birth because I don't want to make the hurt greater should she not make it to birth. I have been discouraged because I know this sinful fear won't end at birth. Then I'll just transfer it to fearing that she'll die in the night. It will never end unless I ruthlessly deal with it now. 

And the Holy Spirit has so faithfully been coming along side to help me. In every moment of fear He calls me to come to Jesus and call to mind His words and promises. Then, when I come and meditate, He stills my anxious heart. I know that God alone upholds Kate's life. He gave it to her for a predetermined and perfect number of days. Should those days be shorter then I would long for He will supply the grace to walk through that grief. Because He has called me to be His daughter through the gift of salvation all His plans and paths for me will be for good and not evil. Even though losing my baby would be devastating and intensely painful, I trust the Lord that He would only do it to bring about my eternal good and His glory. Nothing can stop Him from that work. And nothing can take Kate's life out of His hand. And he LOVES ME through His son! How can I fear in the face of such perfect power and goodness?

As I was praying through and repenting of this sinful heart of fear the other morning, God also reminded me of the fact that He willingly gave up His son for me. No human being will or can ever love their child as the Father loves His son. They had had perfect communion for eternity. Yet, the Father gave up the Son to wrath and punishment for treacherous, wicked sinners like me. He turned His back on Him! He crushed Him! And He did it for people who hated Him. So how could I not WILLINGLY give my child back to Him should He ask for her?? He who loves her more then I ever will; He who is gentle and full of compassion? Afterall, she belongs not to me but to Him. She is a gift from Him. 

And so this is the battlefield on which I have been fighting. I wanted to post this as a confession of sin, a testimony of God's work in my heart, and a request for prayer. Please pray for me to continue to makes steps towards overcoming this sinful fear by God's grace. Pray that I would look forward with EXPECTANT FAITH to Kate's birth. Believing that the Lord will bring her forth in safety and grant me many years of mothering her. May He be glorified by my complete trust in Him!

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me (and Baby Kate!) dwell in safety. Psm 4:8

Baby Kate's Nursery

Here is her nursery! My sweet husband took these nice pictures for me with his camera since it's MUCH better than mine:)

It's hard to tell from the pictures, but the curtains and crib bedding are made from the same fabric. Marilyn made the curtains and Sarah Parks made the bedding (bumper and bedskirt). They both did an INCREDIBLE job and I am so very grateful to both of them for the way they blessed me!

This is the mural Jen is working on. Isn't she amazing? Artistic talent never ceases to amaze me. She still has a little to finish, some more details to the birds in the tree and some grass and foliage at the bottom.

My comfy glider! As I mentioned before, I have an identical bedside table to the black one in these pictures and Kath Flanigan is working on painting it white for me. So the black one will be gone:) Not quite the feeling I am going for, hehe, but it works well for right now!

It took months of agonizing to find a crib I liked! Yes, there was some idolatry that was identified:) But the Lord worked in my heart and then led me to this one which I LOVE. He is kind. That is Martha the pink hippo sitting in the little rocker. She is by far David's favorite of all Kate's possessions:)

And here is the cradle that is Larry's handiwork and wonderful gift to Kate. He has worked on it for months and it is stunning! I can't wait to lay our little baby in it!

Today's Check Up

My doctor's appointment today was encouraging! I am 1-2 cm dilated and nearly completely effaced. Also, baby girl has dropped significantly:) I was thinking she had because I've begun to have some sciatic nerve pain at times. Fun stuff that. Now, I know none of this means that she is close to coming. She could still be 4 weeks away. But it's nice to know progress has been made, and without my really noticing anything! Now if only the whole labor could pass unnoticed;) 

Poor Jen has come down with a cold so the finishing of the mural is somewhat delayed. Also, Kathryn Flanigan is painting a little end table for me to have beside my chair in the nursery and that won't be done for a bit. So, I am thinking I will post "mostly finished" nursery pictures as soon as I get some pretty sunlight for the pictures. 

And that's about all that's going on right now. I am just not up to much these days! 

The Final Weeks Are Here

I am now 3 1/2 weeks away from my due date! Pretty amazing. This pregnancy has seemed like it's lasted forever, until this past week when I have felt like it has just slipped by. I can't believe I am truly a matter of weeks away from having my first baby! In the Lord's great kindness I am still feeling really well and I don't have that "desperate to get her out" feeling yet. I am very excited to see her though! The desire to know what she looks and feels like is growing stronger. I go to the doctor next Thursday to start my once a week appointments. That will also be the first time I get "checked". Goodie. :) I'm sure it won't be bad and it will be fun to know if I've started progressing at all. Not that that will mean anything! She could still be over a month away if she decides to linger in her warm, dark home:) 

Baby Kate hasn't yet seemed to figure out that she is almost out of room! She continues to stretch and wiggle very vigorously at times. Silly baby. This is usually fine with me until she is grinding her feet around on my ribs. Also, now that her head is way down when she gets the urge to twist it about.....yes, not a cool feeling:)

Here are some pictures of my now pretty darn big tummy:) My lovely sis in law, Jen, was over today working on the mural in the nursery (check for pics of the finished nursery in the next week!) I asked her to take my 9 month belly shot and since neither of us are photographers, it took us a few tries:) Here are some of them: